Chronicles of an Invader II: Stupidity Revisited
by InvaderZimRules
Summary: Zim gets discovered by the news about his coming back to Irk, and the group go back to Earth, Zo-e not telling Zim it was already conquered. However, everyone's in for a surprise when they arrive. Probably gonna try to fit some DATR, not so sure though.
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

Well, here's II. Hope you like it. I'll be continually updating, so keep checking up. I WARN YOU, OCAZR. Not as romancy or lovey-dovey as others. (I'm not like that)

Rated for language, violence, sexual references, and some more crazy shiz!

Oh, and tacos.

Chronicles of an Invader II:

Stupidity Revisited

By Megan C

Chapter 1 - Prologue

Well, I suppose that you've read the first story. You better have. Or else you're not gonna understand a word about this story. Even the first story was really random. In fact, don't you remember what the last word was? End. Well, in the actual story it was tacitos... no matter. What happened was that I begged my mom and dad to be an invader and then this whole thing started out...

_**2 long and annoying hours later...**_

It wasn't me though. Athena did it. Athena's a jerk. Bet Biyu would never do that, Athena. Never. Or Monei. Ok, maybe Monei. Oh whatever, just read the damn story. Let's pick up where we left off.


	2. Chapter 2: The Actual Story

Starting with 2 chapters. Wheee.

Chapter 2 - The Actual Story

_**Back on Irk, Zo-e's house...**_

We were all sitting on the couch, watching the news. Thank Tallest, they killed a Martian.

"GUESS WHO MADE WAFFLES?!"

"Oh no..."

"What? Is there something wrong with GIR's waffles, Zim?"

"NO! He YELLS and YELLS until you try them...and then he STUFFS THEM down your SQUEEDILY SPOOCH until he runs out of waffle batter, and he's got like a TALLEST-DAMN INFINITE SUPPLY OF IT! I mean, the waffles are _really_ good, BUT YOU GET SICK OF IT! AND AFTER 5 MINUTES, YOU THROW UP! AND IF NOT, then your digestive system will explode. Eventually."

"You'll never learn, Zim."

"Heh?"

"What? I'll take some, GIR. But only two."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"OK, OK! Five!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"Ten?"

GIR gave me a plateful of waffles.

GIR turned to Zim. "Zim...waffles, Zim..." he said, tauntingly.

"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Zim ran out of the room, screaming.

"Master could've just said he didn't want waffles."

"Can I have some, GIR?"

"OK! How many?"

"Two."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"Ten." GIR also gave Rox a plateful of waffles.

"Wow. These waffles are good. What's in em?"

"THERE'S WAFFLE IN EM!"

"You'll never learn, GIR."

"WHAT?!" said GIR, smiling with his tongue sticking out.

"Sorry?" Zim came back, trembling in fear.

"Master, you don't want any-"

"AAAAAAAAAAA!"

GIR slipped a tear from his eye. "I just wanted to give you some waffles," said GIR with a a broken voice.

"Oh, fine." Zim grabbed a waffle from GIR's plate.

"THANK YOU!" GIR happily skipped out of the room.

Zo-e looked at Zim. "Have you ever _seen_ the inside of his cranium to see if there was just scrap metal for his brain?"

"..."

"GIR! Come here!"

"OK!" GIR came up to Zo-e.

"Can you open your head for me?"

"YOU GOT GLOVES?!"

"Why would I need-"

"I LIKE CUPCAKES!" GIR hit his head and his top lid flung open. "WHOOSH!" His WHOLE HEAD was full of piggies and cupcakes.

"WHAT in the name of the Tallests- ugh. Can you just...take everything out?"

"Hmm...OK!" All of the pigs and cupcakes dropped one level, into GIR's torso. Zo-e scrimmaged through the cupcake-stained, furry cranium that was GIR's head. She finally found her evidence-the scrap metal that is supposedly his brain.

"Told you so." Zim walked up to GIR.

"No-good Tallests... oh, does it matter?! Those...those...squeedily-spooch worshiping sons of Meekrobs! They shall FALL under the mighty ZIM!"

"Whatever, Zim. GIR, go on with what you were doing. I need to talk with Zim."

"OOOO! ZIM'S GETTING THE TALK!"

"SHUT UP GIR!" He kicked the laughing air-borne robot across the room.

"I'M FLYING!" He luckily landed on the couch, face-first. He sat up. Rox came into the room with the Irken newspaper and a can of oil in her hands. She sat next to GIR.

"Whatcha readin'?"

"News. Oh my Irk." Rox turned to the cover page. "Zim! You're on the cover!"

"WHAT?! Let me see that!" Rox handed the paper to Zim. The headlines read:

_"IRK'S MOST HATED COMES BACK ALIVE! RIOT OR NO RIOT?"_

"Well. It was bound to happen sooner or later."

"Well then, ZO-E! Here's your cut of the deal!" Zo-e snatched the paper out of Zim's hands. Below the headlines read the details of the story.

_"16-year-old Invader Zim has been sent to Planet ?, a planet that supposedly doesn't exist. However, before the period of a year passed, which is when the all-out war began, he came back 10 months later. Little did we know, he was accompanied by Tallest Zo-e, our soon-to-be leader. Could it be that these two are mates? Or could it just be an attempt from our leader to kill Zim? Any information regarding this 'couple' will be worth your time, for we will give 1,000 monies to find out the secret between these two."_

"YOU!"


	3. Chapter 3: Fame Sucks

Chapter 3 - Fame Sucks

"WHAT the HELL is WRONG with the Tallest-damn PAPARAZZI on this PLANET?! YOU'VE RUINED ME! When my Tallest hears about this...oh NO, when my Tallest hears about this, he's gonna rip your weird little head to BITS!"

"You and I have the same head!"

"SHUT UP! No...we can't stay here...we're doomed, DOOMED I SAY!"

"YAY WE'RE DOOMED!"

"GIR THAT'S BAD!" Zim and I yelled, glaring at GIR.

"Oh. OH NO, WE'RE DOOMED!" GIR smiled at Zim.

"Rox, check how far the news has gone across Irk."

Rox checked her holographic computer screen. "Worldwide. It's breaking news. Oh, and there's about to be a huge, tabloid-consuming crowd outside in 5...4...3...2..."

A loud bang the same volume as thunder was heard - the door. Camera flashes blinded everyone. I quickly went to the next room and grabbed Raziel. "We need to get out of here! We're going back to Earth!"

"NO! I can't take that planet!"

"You don't have to worry!"

"What do you mean?! We abandoned the mission!"

"I'll explain later! Get in the cruiser! NOW! THEY'RE GAINING UP ON US!" We all ran to the cruiser while the crazy aliens started banging on the car, crowding us with microphones. I desperately took the controls and maneuvered it well enough to get out of there. Thank Irk, I thought I was gonna _die_ right then and there...

_**In the cruiser, towards Earth...**_

"YOU need to tell ME WHAT in the NAME of the TALLEST made the mere THOUGHT run through your cranium of going back to that FILTHY DISGUSTING worm baby planet called Earth?! Did we CONQUER the planet at all?! NO! WE FELL BACK, REMEMBER?!"

I stood up out of my control chair. "Hey mother, shut the hell up. Now listen, I didn't tell you, which I should've, but I implanted a bomb that made them all...y'know...slave-y and stuff. It's a special powder that'll get into their amateur human mind and make them obey both of us. However, I have made the error of sparing Dib and his family, so that's the only problem we have."

"Oh yeah, leave it up to Zo-e to conquer the planet and not conquer THE BIGGEST TALLEST-DAMN PROBLEM."

"Ok, one. Again, shut the hell up. Two, I spared him so he could suffer. Three...well, there is no three...I haven't really thought that far. But-"

"Ok, you need to listen to ZIM. DIB-STINK is a mortal enemy. Who KNOWS what could happen? He could do anything! He's too smart!"

"No, no, no, Zim. No, no, no, no. Nooooo, no, no, no. NOOOOOOOOO-"

"I get it. What's your point?"

"My point IS that Dib can't do anything. The only thing we need to worry about is the war. The Meekrobs, Vortians, Jackers, _Martians..._" I said Martians with angst. "...even the Nhar' Gok are coming. That is _if_ they even find out we're here. But don't get comfortable. Irken media has their dirty scummy ways. Every planet, every media, they're all scum. Scum just waiting to be fed."

The computer interrupted me and Zim and pinged. "Proximity warning. Approaching EARTH." I sat back down.

"So get ready. Or else you'll die, along with the rest of the scum." I took the controls and landed down gently on the rooftop of a house ready to come crashing down. We got out of the cruiser, unsurprised to see the building fall down, with the cruiser on top.

"Oh, now there's dirt on it!" I went up to the cruiser and wiped off the slightly dirty cruiser. "Now, we take control of the humans." I glided to another rooftop and was surprised to see the humans... not... y'know... slave-y.

"Zo-e..."

"What, Zim..."

"They don't look like slaves..."

"Well, give 'em a command, and they'll probably obey."

"YOU!" Zim pointed to a fat guy. "Bow down to your mighty leader, ZIM!"

"Nice costume, Halloween already?" The man walked away.

"Yeah, I don't think so, Zo."

I pulled on my antennas and slapped my forehead. "Crap! I don't get it!"

"I guess that bomb was only for temporary control. I think I should conquer this-"

"No, Zim. We go back to school and start our mission all over again."

"But what about the war? The Meekrobs, Jackers-"

"They won't find us. Rox is doing a search right now for any-" Rox came up to us and scanned me and Zim.

"Sorry, go on."

"Thanks Rox... anyway, she's doing a search for any bugs."

"WHY do we need to do a search for any insects?! I just got my leech shot the other day!"

"Bugs, as in cameras, genius."

"Ohh."

"We need to go into hiding." A thought suddenly went in my head. A stupid one, but it's just crazy enough to work.

_**Back on Irk, in the Massive...**_

"Eria, can you get me some more nachos?"

"Sweetie, that's your 73rd bag already."

"I'M STRESSED!"

Tallest Eria sighed and went into the kitchen and got a bag of nachos. She handed it to Tallest Red.

"Red, Zo-e will be fine. Everyone respects her. Ever since she got into the fight with the Jackers, she's been respected through every race."

"I guess you're right. The thing is, when they see her with... _Zim_... they've all seen the Irken news. Every planet gets our channel! EVERYONE hates Zim. I don't hate him though."

"I thought you-"

"I DESPISE him."

"Ok, that explains it."

"Yes, but it's against the universe laws to harm the leader or relative leader without first agreeing to a battle or war."

"Yes, but Zo-e loves to fight, and you know that."

Eria sighed. "Listen, the ONLY thing we need to worry about is Tak. You know how crazy Zo-e can get with Tak. She starts to go into her-"

"I know, I know. I've seen it already. Don't remind me. But I guess we really don't need to worry. Tak is all locked up in Planet Callnowia, shipping the _infinite_ orders. I don't really think there's any coming out of there."

Purple jumped into the conversation. "And Zim? We've been meaning to kill him! We need to get rid of him _somehow_!"

Eria rolled her eyes. "We can't. Zo-e'll probably fight us to defend us. Plus, that's traumatic."

"You always have to worry about feelings, DON'T YOU Eria?"

"Look who's talking, the Tallest that cries everytime we run out of nachos and poop cans."

"Now THAT'S traumatic."

"Well," said Purple, "There's nothing we can do. We have no information on her."

"I knew we should've planted that tracking device in her a LONG time ago..."


	4. Chapter 4: Surprise

Chapter 4 - Surprise

_**Back on Earth, Skool...**_

Ms. Bitters was teaching class another horrible lesson when suddenly the door opened.

"YOU TWO!" She slithered to us. "I thought you LEFT. For GOOD. You could even see the joy on my face, SEE?!" She scowled and her eye slightly twitched.

The whole classroom stood in silence. Athena, Biyu, and Monei' had the word "happiness" written all over their face. Dib however, had fear. His sense of safety was questioned inside his mind, I could feel it.

"Well, that's just too bad. We just went on a year-long vacation."

Ms. Bitters raised her eyebrow in suspicion. "_Really?_ I went on a vacation once. AND IT TURNED OUT HORRIBLE."

"I have nothing to say. I-"

"I do." A tall woman with a ponytail and odd bluegreen-ish eyes walked into the room.

"K. What are YOU doing here?"

"Athena. Monei'." Athena and Monei' suddenly changed their smiles to straight, serious faces, got out of their seats and walked to K.

I was EXTREMELY suspicious of what was happening. I was almost about to do something, except for the fact that they probably would sustain me. "And what do you want with my friends?"

"Oh no, nothing sweetheart. I'm the school counselor."

"Really? A psychologist, perhaps? Looking to infiltrate the minds of innocent worm babies for your own amusement? Hmm? HMM?!"

"No, no, no. They can tell me anything and I help...by listening." K grabbed Athena and Monei's heads. "I've heard about you. Aren't you the psychopathic?"

"That's what everyone _says_..."

"Hmm. You seem very...interesting. Well, I must be going now." I scowled at her. She turned around and left. "And I'll be back for you later, Zo-e." The sparkle in her eyes swept side to side as she whispered under her breath with an evil grin.

"ANYWAY, with that annoying interruption out of the way. Go take your old seat and DON'T YOU DARE say a word. SAME FOR YOU..._ZIM._"

Zim sat in his seat, next to Dib. I sat down in my regular seat, Biyu beside me, Monei and Athena gone.

_**4th period, before lunch...**_

_But no... it couldn't have been..._ I thought and thought about what happened as I wrote down all my theories on a piece of paper.

_Their smiles turned straight the mere second K gave them a command. I'm obsessing over this one theory that can't be true...but I have this feeling...they had to be..._

"TIME FOR LUNCH! PACK UP!" Everyone quickly packed up and started to go crazy over the schedule. After all, this was the 8th time that they were late for lunch. I stored everything in my PAK and threw out the paper with one word scribbled on it, the tainted, word that couldn't be.

_Brainwash._

_**Lunch...**_

I went to the table and desperately awaited Athena and Monei'. Nobody came. "Hey," I nudged Zim. "Where's Athena and Monei'?"

"They're still with K."

"We need to go there. Now."

"Why should I care for some stinky Earthlings?"

"Because they'll be your friend-in-laws, now COME ON." I grabbed Zim's wrist and dragged him to the hallway. "We need to go upstairs," I said while looking around. "To Ms. K's office. But we need to get there undetected."

"So you're saying that we need to somehow get into a 10 foot wide office with five security guards and skool staff there at all times without being seen? You're insane!"

"I am, thank you very much, it's the time to get over that. We need to think of a way."

"I find it virtually imposs- hey wait a minute. Don't all the Tallests have the power to convert themselves into shadows?"

"Yes, but I- oh yeah! I'm so stupid." I hugged Zim and slowly turned very, very dark, almost invisible. "We can go through walls and stuff, right?"

"Well, seeing as how we're not solids, then I suppose so. But shadows only reflect on the walls, they go no further."

"Damn! Fine, let's just go then." We slithered across the mile-long hallway and ended up to the stairs. We went up the three flights of stairs and ended up in the beginning of the second floor hallway.

"What in the name of the Tallests made them make a Tallest-damn hallway the size of the Massive?!" Frustrated, we glided as fast as we could across the walls. Finally, we reached K's office. We went inside and looked at what K was doing.

"Now you two, you've done well. You've followed my orders and reported the news. Now what I need you to do is get Zo-e to come to this office. She WILL be next."

"Yes, K."

"Good. Dismissed." Athena and Monei' walked out of the room, heading to lunch.

"THAT SICK-" My mouth was muffled by Zim.

"Shut up, do you wanna get caught?!" He whispered in my antennae.

"Hmm?! Who's there?! Reveal yourself!" I waved my arms towards K, trying to harm her in some way. Zim got in front of me and dragged me outside, pinning my claws against the wall.

"Why, WHY did I have to be paired with a psychopath?! What is wrong with you?!"

"What the hell do you think is wrong with me?! I just found out that my theory was correct, and that my best friends are lost to some poor sucker that is TRYING to dominate this planet, but doesn't know that WE'RE HERE!"

"FINE, BUT CALM YOUR ASS DOWN!" I gave up and stopped fighting Zim. His grip was too tight.

"Ugh. I'm tired."

"How do you think ZIM feels?!" He stood up off of me and said, "I guess you really do need a straitjacket."

"I'm scared. They're gonna get me."

"Ha, guess it's not your paranoia this time. HAHAHA-" I kicked Zim's stomach. He stopped laughing and rubbed his stomach. "Ow..."

"Hey, wait though."

"What? You wanna add insult to injury?"

"No. Maybe I should _let_ her get me..."

"WHAT?!"

"I sense something about her. There's something about her that's odd."

"Let's go get you fitted for straitjackets."

"Really? Can't we just go to an antennastylist instead?"

"...those are back on Irk."

"Oh. Right."


	5. Chapter 5: To add injury

Chapter 5 - To add injury to another injury...

_**6th period, in music...**_

"EVERYBODY SING! I made it, I'm the world's greatest..." The corny music teacher that sings nothing but child's play songs and nursery rhymes was getting on my nerves.

I nudged Zim with my elbow. "Now or never, eh?" I stood on top of the table.

"No, Zo-e!"

"Oh look, it is I, Zo-e, out in the open, unarmed, unsuspecting about anything!"

Athena and Monei' jumped on the table and grabbed my wrists. "Oh no, I am fighting, fighting." I slightly moved and rattled. "Your grip," I yawned, "...is too strong." They dragged me off the table, and went to the door.

"Bye, Zim."

"WAIT!"

But it was too late. They already took me.

_**K's office...**_

K paced and paced and paced. She waited and waited for me until suddenly, the door shot open.

"Finally! What took you idiots so long?!"

"Who are you calling an idiot, bitch?" said Athena, scowling at her.

"SILENCE!"

"K. Impressive. I saw it coming though."

"Ha. You're impressive as well, Zo-e."

"I never told you my name. Creep."

Athena and Monei' threw me down in a chair. "Oh, I've known your name for years. Years and years and years of misery."

I looked at her with a confused face. "I haven't known you for years. What-"

"OH, you've known me longer than you think. Zo-e Lexi Raxelliott. Soon-to-be Tallest, daughter of Red and Eria."

I stood in shock. "You..."

"Mortal enemy of Tak."

My disguise suddenly shook. "T-Tak?"

"That's right, you idiot." Tak or "K" had gotten shorter and greener. Her blue-green eyes turned a deep, fuller violet. Her three thin eyelashes turned into one, long, thick one. Terminally, her ponytail turned into matching immense curly antennae. My cloak evaporated and my former light blue gown turned snow-white and dismal, charcoal black stripes.

I laughed. "You smart bitch, you."

"I've ALWAYS been worthy, Zo-e. And DON'T you dare think that just because you're a Tallest..." she came up to my face. "...doesn't mean that I don't have the nerve to revert you to who you really are."

"Nothing can drive me to that situation now."

"Let me ask you something, Zo-e." She grinned. "Do you love your brother?"

My antennae straightened out and contorted into a bent form. "You wouldn't."

"Oh, I would. Along with his uncle."

"Leave them out of this and deal with me."

"I'm afraid that by keeping them out of this, I wouldn't be able to deal with you."

"Oh really?" I got up out of the chair and went to Tak. "Then try it. I dare you."

"Oh, I will. You two. Leave." My friends, or former friends, left the room, with an odd smirk on their face.

"End this now, unless you want to see your most beloved die in front of you."

I laughed again. "I'm not doing it. And you'd still kill them anyway, just for revenge."

"Would I?"

"Oh, you would. You are who you are, and you're a cold-hearted bitch in my opinion."

"Exactly right. MIMI!"

Tak's SIR unit, Mimi, came out of a dark corner in the room and went to Tak.

"You know what to do." Mimi saluted Tak. She pushed me right back down into the chair, tying my hands with a long rope behind the chair.

She pushed out a large cage. On closer inspection, Zim, GIR, Rox and Raziel were inside. I twitched as my antennae bent even more.

Tak came up to my face. "Now once those beloved little baby blue eyes turn black..." She swept her hand across my eyes and face as a tear dropped from my eye. "...you will be fully insane and entirely under my control." She voiced in a high voice, teasing me.

"And don't cry. This'll all be over shortly. If I decide not to kill you, that is. Or them."

"Screw you." I spit in her face. She rubbed her face and flicked her hand off. She grinned, tilted her head and slapped me.

I was infuriated at that point. Not at the point to go insane, no, just to kick ass. All I saw was in night vision, and Tak was the red target. I wrestled the rope with my claws, and since I didn't really sharpen them this morning, it took me a minute or so to get out of it when Tak wasn't looking.

"You...are SO dead."


End file.
